Nana
My Nana Lu died a year ago today. The past year has filled me with many different emotions- sadness obviously, resentment that she isn’t still here, relief that she is getting some rest after a battle with cancer- but for the most part I really just miss her.
Nana Lu was my closest relative in terms of actual distance. She lived in a gorgeous brick house about 15 minutes away from my own. We drove the same route so often that I think I could walk it blindfolded and backwards. The road and the driveway were uneven- whenever you would pull in or out you could feel the back of the car buck as we went over the part that separated the road from the driveway.
When you walked in the door you were greeted by a mudroom with red tile floors. To the right was a bathroom, to the left a counter with unopened bottles of wine that she was never going to drink- after all, Lulu much preferred Franzia red and always kept it stocked in her kitchen. If you went straight you would walk into the kitchen, and if you went a little bit further Lulu would be sitting there at her command center. This command center always boasted state of the art recliner technology in addition to a Macbook sitting on a plastic white table. Her Macbook was essential to her daily life. My Grandfather Papa Dale died in 2001 and I was born in 2002, meaning that the entire time I knew Nana Lu she was a widow. “Luanne married her best friend, Dale Chamness, in June of 1960 and he preceded her in death in 2001. She missed him for 20 years.” was how it was put when my Uncle Chuck wrote her obituary, and I feel like that was the best way I have ever heard it put.
Lulu was known for her sugary-sweet and at times idealistic positivity- but occasionally she would let it be known how lonely it could get for her during the day. All of her children and their families visited frequently, and she had several lunch groups she would go out with frequently- but you could tell the long days alone without her husband were still tough for her to deal with.
Her Macbook was one of the things that enabled her to pass the time during the day alone. She was an avid facebook user, as it enabled her to connect with local people and old friends- namely Delta Gammas that she knew from her time as a DG in college, old teaching friends from her years in the classroom, folks she knew from high school, former students, and whoever else was lucky enough to call her a friend.
Lulu was also known to be somewhat of a gamer herself. Webkinz was her game of choice and she logged in daily to play a couple games and take care of her virtual pets. She even got the grandkids into Webkinz. My sister and I used to log on and have little gifts of furniture or clothes from Nana Lu. She had more than enough to share and loved doing it.
Her house smelled incredible. I later figured out what I was smelling was a mixture of hazelnut creamer- a staple in her house- and stale cigarette smoke. Lulu swore up and down to my mom and her siblings that she had stopped smoking, but she wasn’t the greatest at hiding that she still had kept the habit.
If there’s one thing about Nana Lu I know it’s that she could always get up for Christmas. Every year on the Friday after Thanksgiving my family, and whatever family was still in town from Thanksgiving, helped Lulu set up for Christmas. She had multiple Christmas trees, a Santa figurine for every surface of the house, and an enormous Christmas village that went under the Christmas tree in the Living room. Lulu loved to collect Santa figurines, a hobby she passed onto my mom and aunt. She eventually started gifting them to my mom and aunt as she got older, but judging by the amount that she still had at the time of her death I would guess at the height of her collection she probably had upwards of 300 different Santa figurines. She loved Christmas movies. She kept a little notebook full of different movies she would randomly watch on television and would review each movie she watched. I think in another life she would have rivaled Roger Ebert as a film critic, but she was content to keep it a hobby during the months of November and December.
One of my favorite Nana Lu mannerisms was her catchphrase, “Love you more.” I never received a birthday card without that little phrase, and I never left her house without hearing her say it. She said it so much that it sort of morphed into one word that i would pronounce as “luhjoomor” and when I was really little I thought it was a phrase she made up, but I always knew what she meant when she said it.
I think Lulu loved Christmas for a couple of reasons. It was one of the only times during the year all of her kids and all of their kids were in the same place. Additionally, Lulu loved to give presents. Every year the grandkids would get a check and a stocking, and the adults would get something Lulu had picked out herself. At one point Lulu attempted to discontinue the stocking tradition- I’m not really sure why but if I had to guess she was probably just tired of having to get candy that was to the taste of nine different grandkids. This was to the dismay of the cousins who immediately sprung into action and wrote a petition to keep the stockings. Every cousin signed it as well as all of the family dogs.. Lulu not only thought this was hilarious, but it was so effective that she kept doing the stockings and kept the petition on her fridge for years.
Lulu always had cats. When I was really young she had two cats- Tom and Roxy. Tom died when I was pretty young so I don’t remember much about him, but I do remember Roxy. If Roxy was a fictional character she would be Oscar from Sesame Street. Tiny, defensive, and armed with a shockingly gravely meow, Roxy lived mostly under the grill on Lulu’s deck. Behind the deck there was an unfinished platform that Papa Dale had built with the intention of adding on to the deck- only to realize the city would probably make him pay taxes on it leaving him to abandon the project. He left the unfinished platform there and my cousins and I would go hang out back there sometimes, so when Roxy died my sister, my cousin Drew, and I named the platform Roxy Poop Canyon, to honor the scraggly little gremlin that lived under Lulu’s grill. Eventually she was taken away to the warrior’s paradise I’m sure she had earned and Lulu took a couple years off before getting Sweet Mama. Sweet Mama was the perfect cat for Lulu in her advanced age. Sweet Mama liked to roam the neighborhood but would come in periodically for snuggles and food. When Lulu got sick Sweet Mama decided she would stick around the house a little bit more- something Lulu appreciated. Sweet Mama outlived Nana Lu and was adopted by a friend of a friend. We’ve gotten a few Sweet Mama updates from her new owners and I always enjoy hearing about her.
Every day I bike past Nana Lu’s house. My apartment is about a twenty minute bike ride from campus, and due to the location it’s pretty convenient to cut through her old neighborhood. I’ve never liked change, and Lulu’s house is changing. There are new coats of paint, new windows, new porch furniture, hell there’s a new light above the garage. Of course this is how it had to be- keeping Lulu’s house would have been almost impossible, but it does hurt to see so much change.
I love and miss Nana Lu. I miss hearing her laugh, I miss hearing old stories from her. I miss the smell of her house, and I miss the Christmas at her house, It’s been a year and I still miss her as much as the day she died. I don’t think I’m ever going to stop missing her but I’m thankful everyday for the time and memories she gave me.
Love you more- Aiden
