The Real Breakup: The Fight That Ended Oasis
Oasis is one of the most commercially successful bands of all time. Each of their seven albums spent time at the top of the UK charts, and they had dozens of memorable singles over the course of their 15+ years together. Oasis was also marred by infighting to a degree that very few acts on their level have had. The Gallaghers fought, and they fought, and when they got tired of fighting they fought some more.
I’ve been listening to a lot of Oasis recently, which is a great way to covertly let people know that I’m kind of a douchebag. Despite my interest in the music, the part of Oasis that captivates me the most is the relationship between brothers Noel and Liam. Liam is five and a half years younger than Noel, and you can tell this fact by literally any anecdote about the brother’s many spats over the years. The following is reworded from excerpts on Noel’s Wikipedia: One such incident occurred in 1994 during the “Definitely Maybe” tour when Liam changed the lyrics of several Oasis songs to offend both his older brother and the audience of Americans. Another happened during a studio session when Liam brought people directly from the pub to the studio prompting Noel to hit him with a cricket bat. Even Liam’s quotes since Oasis’s breakup in 2009 are dripping in sarcasm, just itching for a malignant response from Noel.
But what about the fight that broke the band up? What was the last straw for these brothers? What made them decide to throw away countless millions of dollars and whatever was left of their relationship at the same time? The answer may surprise you.
The Nintendo Wii was released in November of 2006 to rave reviews and major sales numbers. The Wii was the perfect console for families- it had motion controls which allowed the user to actually remain active while playing the game, an innovation that still affects gaming to this day. The Wii remote consisted of a rectangular remote with a sensor on the end. It would send signals between the sensor bar on the television and your remote, and this would allow the television then to recognize feedback and project it in the form of your on-screen avatar. The remote also had four LED lights on the bottom- depending on the number of boxes to light up, that’s what player you would be- first, second, third, or fourth.
Noel and Liam Gallagher have both been reported as “huge gamers” by family, friends, and acquaintances. During Oasis’s tenure, the brothers were described as “wild about the Nintendo” and apparently had an SNES with the game Super Metroid on the Rider for their “Definitely Maybe” tour. The brothers remained loyal to Nintendo over the years, moving on to the Nintendo 64, the Gamecube, and then eventually the Wii. Oasis had one problem with Nintendo though.
“Those f — ing lights man- that was the beginning of the end for Oasis” said an anonymous source close to the brothers. Of course the lights being referred to are the ones on the bottom of the controller that denoted what player you were playing as. “That was it mate. As soon as they could tell who was player one just by turning on the console it was a problem.”
A big part of the brother’s fondness for Nintendo products was their love of the “Mario Kart” game series. Another source close to the brothers said “Double Dash was a major problem. We thought it would be better [than Mario Kart 64] because you could put two characters on the same kart and play as both- this led to Noel, who was always the perfectionist wanting to get pairs. Mario and Luigi, Yoshi and Birdo, Wario and Waluigi, you name it- if he had one he had to have the other. Of course Liam knew this, so whenever Noel started off picking one member of a pair Liam would pick the other. Noel picks Yoshi, Liam picks Birdo. Noel picks Mario, Liam picks Luigi, I mean it was f — ing ridiculous. This always made Noel really miffed, and there were definitely a few canceled studio sessions during that time.”
The tension continued to grow throughout that time, and when the Wii came out the brothers believed it would be a new chapter. The same anonymous source was quoted as saying “I mean we thought Double Dash was the worst of it. We didn’t think there was any way they would find something to fight about with the new one.”
On April 10th 2008- a little bit more than 16 months before the official breakup of Oasis, Nintendo released “Mario Kart Wii” in Japan. “The boys were jumping for joy, literally” said an anonymous source who was close to the brothers at the time “I had never seen them that happy with anything.” There was just one problem.
“Liam figured out being player one in Mario Kart Wii was important pretty quickly. He was always peeved about Noel being player one, even when it was his turn” said the source “that’s when the fighting started.”
Over the next 16 months, the brothers were constantly bickering over who got to be player one. The final straw happened in August of 2009. The Gallagher brothers got into one last spat before going on stage at a festival, leading their manager to have to go on stage to announce the split to a sea of Oasis fans. This was reportedly a continuation of a fight that had happened earlier that morning, and until now nobody knew the contents of the verbal altercation. Nobody knew that somebody had recorded it. I received an unmarked package on my porch this morning, and when I opened it up the inside contained a recording of the fight. This is the real reason Oasis broke up. I have transcribed the full tape below.
-Liam- Noel have you seen the remote?
-Noel- Which one?
-Liam- The blue one, the one I always use.
-Noel- Oh I think its under the *unintelligible*
*The next 2 minutes of the tape consist of Liam shuffling around looking for the remote while Noel sits quietly*
-Noel- You find it yet?
-Liam- Well I could find it a lot faster if you’d get off your ass and help me look.
-Noel- *exhales angrily*
*more time passes, in this time Liam presumably finds the remote*
-Liam- What’s that
-Noel- What’s what?
-Liam- Only one of your lights lit up.
-Noel- Oh well that’s fine, it just means I’m player one.
-Liam- I know that, it’s my turn to be player one.
-Noel- No it isn’t.
-Liam- Yes it is.
-Noel- No it isn’t
-Liam- Yes it is.
*the Gallaghers go back and forth like this for a minute*
-Noel- You’re always player one when we play Super Smash Brothers.
-Liam- There’s no benefit to being player one in Smash you fucking knob! We like the same maps and you always choose fucking Kirby anyway!
-Noel- It always comes back to Kirby with you.
-Liam- *screaming* Because it’s fucking cheating Noel! He can mimic every fucking ability and you think it’s not cheating?!
-Noel- Look, I understand where you’re coming fro-
-Liam- *screaming* No Noel, you don’t understand! You don’t understand at all! When you’re player one in Mario Kart you get to choose the Grand Prix! Your favorite course is Rainbow Road, so what do we always play? Rainbow fucking Road! I hate Rainbow Road, I’m always falling off the fucking map!
-Noel- Have you considered getting better at the game?
*at this point the audio turns to unintelligible screaming and the crashing and banging of a physical fight before eventually cutting off*
-END OF TRANSCRIPTION-
So there you have it- one of the most successful musical acts of all time. There’s a lot I could say here about “the straw that broke the camel’s back” but really I think this was inevitable.
Liam was always going to be the little brother of Oasis, and Noel was always going to let him know it. The group was a ticking time bomb of sibling rivalries and clashing personalities, and Rainbow Road was the final nail in the coffin.
